Spilling some T E A
Updated: Sep 13, 2019
With three (and a half) months left to go in the year, I thought we'd revisit this post from my old site and have I got some TEA.
My New Years Resolution went to SH*T, you guys.
Why is it that every. single. year. We convince ourselves that this year will be different? This is the year I stop making the same mistakes. I quit the job I hate. I leave the unfulfilling relationship. I start saying YES to the things I need and want, and NO to the things I don’t. Every single year we make this vow to ourselves and every single year we break it.
I think the happiest people are those who go into January 1st as if it’s any other random day of the week. The people who don’t wait for January 1st are the people who see each sunrise as a new start; a brand new day to set intentions. My resolution is to be one of those people.
Like every other year, on Dec. 31, I found myself setting my intentions for 2019. Vision boards, meditation, all the good stuff the motivational speakers tell you to do. Motivational speakers and videos are great for the initial push, but when you close out of YouTube, the follow through is 100% up to you. No one’s going to guide you through change because change is an inside job. It’s a messy inside job. It’s stirring up all the bullshit that you’ve buried deep within you and finding some way to detox. But I’m telling you things you already know.
Here’s my advice that I am in no way qualified to give:
Do one thing every day to detox your bullshit. Keyword is your. This is about you. It’s not about the bullshit other people spew at you. We’ll get to that. It’s about not spewing your bullshit at others. Stop projecting. Yes, there are extenuating circumstances. Yes, some people are just assholes. But how many times a day do we take our own experience and use that to determine how we feel about a particular person or situation? Especially those that have no bearing on our happiness, or our jobs, or our decision making, or our relationships? We let a pet-peeve ruin our day. Think about it this way: make the reason why you’re getting upset an object, like an apple. Place that apple in front of you. Take an imaginary hammer to it. Now there’s apple everywhere. It’s sticky. It’s messy. And guess who has to clean it up? Take ownership. Your action—rather, reaction—to the object is what caused the mess. Chances are, your day is being ruined by your thoughts and your reactions, and not by something someone else did. We can’t control other people. Duh. We can control our reactions to any given person or situation. I guess that’s my daily resolution. To see every sunrise as a chance to be more self-aware. To not project my bullshit. I’ll let you know how it goes.
**editor's note: didn't go very well. More on that later.